The True Winner Of The Doughnut Wars

When you’re craving doughnuts, can you think of anything better than a Krispy Kreme? That flawless sheet of glaze that crackles across the top when you take your first bite; the light, pillowy pastry that almost dissolves in your mouth the moment it hits your tongue… Whether you’re looking to satisfy your breakfast cravings or a late night sweet tooth, it always hits the spot. And when they’re hot off the line? Forget about it. While we may never know what makes these things so delicious, there are plenty of other fun facts to discover about your favorite doughnut chain that’s been serving those glazed delights for over 80 years. Here’s the untold truth of Krispy Kreme. “Krispy Kreme donuts are so good, if I told you right now they had crack in it, you go, ‘I knew something was up.’”

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That “Hot” light

If the sight of the lit “Hot” light in a Krispy Kreme window makes you weak in the knees, you’re not alone. But if you’re under the impression that the neon light means you get a free doughnut, you’re likely to be disappointed. Krispy Kreme’s communications department revealed to Delish, “The Hot Light signals that donuts are hot and fresh coming off the line, not a free donut. Some shops sometimes offer samples, but that isn’t dependent on the Hot Light being on.” These days, thanks to the Krispy Kreme app, you can be notified every time a location in your area turns on their light. Road trips just got a whole lot more donutty.

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Doughnut beer?

Two Florida breweries, Hidden Springs Ale Works and Arkane Aleworks, collaborated to produce a Russian imperial stout infused with Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Given that stout beer is known for its coffee and chocolate notes, we can only assume this is a match made in heaven. While Krispy Kreme wasn’t directly involved, the company reportedly supports the product and the breweries. The beer, called “Donut Quote Me On This,” was brewed in two batches, one with glazed and one with cream-filled doughnuts. Josh Garman, Hidden Springs founder and brewer, told The Tampa Bay Times, “It’s going to be roasty, chocolatey, hopefully with some doughnut flavor. We’re actually hoping to get some of the glaze from the Krispy Kremes to come through.” The stout debuted in January 2018 and promptly sold out, but we’re hoping these tasty brews make a second appearance soon. Until then, we have the old standby… Coffee and donuts!” “Boom. It’s a party.”

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Don’t join the “klub”

When your company has already eschewed the proper spelling of “crispy” and “cream,” you might figure it’s fine to take it a step further and spell “klub” with a K. But unfortunately, one British Krispy Kreme store did just that, and in a huge marketing fail, named one of their promotional kids days, “KKK Wednesdays”. “Let’s call the police.” “And tell them what, an army of killer donuts is on the loose?” Predictably, there were plenty of complaints, pointing out that the name was the same as the abbreviation for the American hate group, the Ku Klux Klan. A spokesperson for the company told the Guardian, “Krispy Kreme apologizes unreservedly for the inappropriate name of a customer promotion at one of our stores. This promotion was never intended to cause offense. All material has been withdrawn and an internal investigation is currently underway.”

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Doughnuts over cake

How many weddings have you been to where the cake is just a huge disappointment in the flavor department? But you can’t have a wedding without a multi-tiered dessert, right? Thanks to the Krispy Kreme doughnut tower, there’s now a solution to that age-old wedding cake conundrum. And trust us, nobody will miss the tasteless red velvet, when they’re biting into a delectable glazed doughnut. “Things are going to be different. From now on I’m gonna be on you every day, have you got that. Every day… mmf!” “Mmmm!” Availability varies by store, and you can even customize the tower by adding in any variety of doughnuts you choose. Even if your local store doesn’t offer the service, a doughnut tower is easy to build with a tiered cake stand. Select stores also offer individually packaged doughnuts as wedding favors, and for those throwing baby showers, there are gender reveal doughnuts with pink or blue filling.

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Shaq’s love affair

Shaquille O’Neal has had a longtime love affair with Krispy Kreme. “Surprise!” “Oh, my God, you look like Shaquille O’Neal!” You might remember his hilarious 2009 video, set to Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together,” ultimately proving that he has the willpower not to break his basketball season diet. But now that he’s retired, Shaq can eat all the doughnuts he wants. And in 2016 he not only became the new owner of an Atlanta area Krispy Kreme, he also became the brand’s global ambassador. Shaq said in a statement, “Krispy Kreme prides itself on spreading joy and supporting local communities, and that’s a cause that I am thrilled to be a part of. Our goal is to help people find their happy place, and what better way than with a box of delicious Krispy Kreme doughnuts.” But he’s not stopping there. In 2017 he told TMZ, “I only own one now, but I’m working on it. When it’s all said and done, I’d like to own about 100.”

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Black market doughnuts?

At one time, the border town of Juarez, Mexico was graced with a Krispy Kreme restaurant. And of course, the residents quickly got hooked. So much so that when the store closed, it provided the perfect opportunity for The Krispy Kreme Familia to set up shop, and just like that, the doughnut black market was born. “What is that, Private Pyle?!” “Sir, a jelly donut, sir!” Sonia Garcia and her two sons drive across the border to El Paso, Texas to stock up on 40 boxes of Krispy Kreme doughnuts each night, then drive back into Juarez to sell them at a 60 percent markup. When asked why these doughnuts are so highly sought after when it’s easier to get other kinds locally, Garcia told The Los Angeles Times, “I don’t know why, but these are just softer and better.”

Sugar bomb breakfast

Doughnuts get a bad rap when it comes to sugar, but, news flash, if you’re sucking down a grande Frappuccino every morning, you’re drinking as much sugar as you’d get by eating a half dozen Krispy Kremes! “Oh, sugar rush…” Sorry Starbucks fans, but those blended drinks are chock full of the sweet stuff, and we’re not just talking about the 59 grams of sugar in the Unicorn Frappuccino. A plain ol’ Coffee Frappuccino comes in at 50 grams, and the vanilla version actually blows the Unicorn out of the water with an astounding 69 grams of sugar. When you compare those numbers to the 10 grams of sugar in an Original Glazed Krispy Kreme, you can feel pretty good about scarfing down a few doughnuts as a morning treat.

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The Luther Burger

“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?” What do you get when you combine two Krispy Kreme Original Glazed doughnuts with a beef patty, cheese, and bacon? You get the Luther Burger. And don’t be fooled by its decadent appearance, it might look like it would set you back thousands of calories, but surprisingly, it has just 500. According to Snopes, the burger is named after R&B singer Luther Vandross, but the reason behind the naming of the sandwich is less clear. One theory suggests that Vandross himself invented the concoction after running out of regular buns, substituting doughnuts in their place. Another theory suggests it was simply one of his favorite foods. Whatever the reason, we know one thing for sure, Paula Deen did not invent this dish, although she did attempt to take credit years after the Luther Burger was already being served at Mulligan’s pub in Georgia. “Enjoy the special sauce. Those buns are all still good, just change the hats!”

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That limited edish

Krispy Kreme might have plenty of mouthwatering options to choose from, but that doesn’t stop them from releasing limited edition doughnuts any chance they get. “You got jack-o-lanterns?” “JACK-O-LANTERNS!” Whether it’s a holiday, an event, or just because, there is a constant stream of fun new flavors and colors popping up. St. Patrick’s Day saw the Original Glazed go green , and the dough itself was turned a vibrant shade of lime for the occasion. The 2018 Winter Olympics prompted a Gold doughnut, with bits of Hershey’s Gold candy bar sprinkled on top of salted caramel icing. And then there was the Simpsons D’ohnut, a real-life recreation of Homer’s favorite snack. Even the once-in-a-lifetime solar eclipse of 2017 inspired a limited edition doughnut. Jackie Woodward, the company’s chief marketing officer, said in a statement, “The solar eclipse is a rare occasion providing a total sensory experience for viewers across the continental U.S. Chocolate will have the same effect as we introduce a first-time chocolate glazing of our iconic Original Glazed Doughnut. The Chocolate Glazed Doughnut is a delicious way to experience the solar eclipse, no matter where you are, and we can’t wait for fans to try it.” And as sad as it is to see these limited editions disappear, we’re sure not hating on our old favs. Oh, gotta run, the hot light’s on at our local shop!

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